Two Techniques for Being More Convincing (You Probably Never Use, But Should)

Two Techniques for Being More Convincing 

Minimal Encouragers and Maximum Aggravators
First, we used minimal encouragers, (e.g., “Yes,” “That’s right” or “Correct”). This little gift of praise helps anyone understand that you are listening, engaged and you think what they are saying deserves attention.
While it sounds so trite, most people don’t say many positive things in a conversation and little affirmations aid in getting people to open up more. This works on even the most hardened criminals.
We also said that being a snitch might not match his tough guy persona but being caught would hurt his ego more.
In one of our masterclass workshops, a participant named John told us a story that exemplifies Maximum Aggravator.
He said it was his job to calm down angry customers who felt the work the contractors at his roofing company did was substandard and then demanded refunds. Not a job many of us would envy, but John managed it with style.
He said when people got very upset, he met their anger with a matching compassionate outrage, telling one customer who was particularly irate that he, “couldn’t believe that my employees would come into her home and try and rip her off.”
To which she defended the employees and calmed herself down. It is a smart de-escalation technique and as a result she understood she was overreacting without John having to tell her. Nobody wants to be out-angered.
Flipping the Script
Another technique is called flipping the script.
As Seth Godin wrote in the book Tribes, “…heretics, troublemakers and change agents aren’t merely thorns in our side, they are the keys to our success.” Consider the most polarizing people you know – the opinionated people who can divide a room.
Think about why they elicit such strong reactions. Their take often goes straight to people’s greatest views, concerns, fears, and desires.
Sometimes, these agitators get dismissed as troublemakers, naysayers, and heretics. And sometimes, they thoroughly debunk the prevailing wisdom or even revolutionize an entire industry.
These people may not have mastered the convincing techniques, but you can smooth their rough edges through the techniques we describe above. In the process, they (and you) will become innovators people want to hear from. This is a winning strategy.
If you do these things effectively, and patiently wait for their response, most people will reveal more about themselves and you’ll get a deeper understanding of their intrinsic motivations.
And once you understand these motivations, you’ll be able to tailor your statements and questions into ones that tap into these passionate professional predictions, multiplying the impact of your words in turn.
They’ll be more receptive to your ideas…more attentive to your concerns…and more agreeable to your terms – among many other benefits.
And when these same techniques are something that a hostage negotiator relies on, time and time again, to lead a life-threatening situation into a safe outcome…you can bet that they will help everyday conversations, interactions, and situations go our way.
We’re not saying you’ll conduct some crazy hidden mind control on the other person…but you’ll tap into the levers that motivate us as human beings. And that’s a very powerful thing indeed.
What if you could be one of those leaders that sees around corners, starts and industry trend and innovated when everyone else was freaking out.

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